The phrase of the week has been “I can’t imagine what you’re going through”.

And you’re right, a good deal of people can’t because the situation is fairly rare [I hope]. The fact that I waited two years to finally find out he’s in love with me, that he considers me his other half—is probably what kills me the most.

This feeling, I can’t put into correct words just exactly what it is, but I can tell you it’s the most emotional pain I’ve ever been in. It’s like being socked in the stomach, being forced to walk on broken bones, your heart being in a vice grip. You feel like you’re dying, withering away. To know the one person you could spend the rest of your life with isn’t going to be there the rest of your life is awful. But the shock subsides, the bones heal, and the vice grip decays. They say time heals all wounds but it doesn’t, it just fades them and makes them less visible. You wont forget them because they’ll always be with you, on your body, on your heart. You’ll be stronger in the end from the experience and then you can take what you’ve learned and help others. You don’t have to, but you know the pain, and sometimes even holding someone’s hand or looking them in the eye can let them know you’ve suffered that pain as well.

He’s not gone yet, he’s taking care of personal obligations and business. But I’m trying to cope the best I can already.